Bureaucracy Wants In On the Breakup

Bureaucracy Wants In On the Breakup

The Vultures Circle the Settlement

· Random Circuits

A refusal-coded audit of divorce, motherhood, and financial misalignment. 

How financial systems punish nuance, erase emotional labor, and still want a slice of your separation.

What happens when you're a single woman trying to buy out your ex, keep the house, support two children, and thread dignity through a system that treats nuance like a threat?

You get a front-row seat to how financial infrastructure erodes trust, punishes emotional labor, and refuses to see the human behind the credit score.

I lived it.

💸 The Audit I Never Asked For

I paid the mortgage solo for 12 years—while the loan stayed in both names knowing a bank would deny me the loan as a single parent.
I paid life insurance premiums on his life and mine—because the bank refused to cancel a policy on my life he no longer knew existed.
I was denied a top-up loan when I mentioned divorce—despite a good repayment history.
I filed my own divorce papers, navigated IRD and MSD contradictions, and absorbed the emotional fallout of being forced to chase child support against a private agreement.
MSD refused to acknowledge that same private settlement and pressured me to sign a child support collection notice—under threat of having my benefits revoked.
The system didn’t ask what was fair. It asked what was enforceable. And when I didn’t comply, it threatened my livelihood.
I supported two children while absorbing the full financial and emotional cost of institutional rigidity.
I held down a job while fielding six-monthly phone calls pressuring me to disclose the whereabouts of an ex I was no longer in contact with. I don’t stalk my ex—and I don’t weaponize my children to do it either.
I watched my credit rating drop because a joint account was overdrawn with insurance on my own life for another person—then watched the bank raid my personal account to cover it.
I paid $7,000 to IRD to own my own home—because they refused to honour a private separation agreement made in good faith.
I cycled through five expensive lawyers over 12 years before finally finding one who listened—who refused to push me through a system that didn’t honour our right to make our own decisions.

🔌 Circuit Breakers (The Lawyers)

Five expensive lawyers over twelve years—each one a circuit breaker that tripped instead of rerouting power.

Only the fifth lawyer refused the default wiring and listened. He didn’t push you through the system—he rewired it to honour autonomy.

Five labeled circuit breaker switches represent lawyers. The first four are broken or off; the fifth glows and is labeled “Listened.” Tangled wires behind them are labeled “System Default,” “Courtroom Theatrics,” and “Ignored Autonomy.”

🧭 Miswired Switchboard (MSD + IRD)

Contradictory instructions, emotional toll, and six-monthly calls pressuring you to stalk your ex.

You held the line. You refused to weaponize your children. The system misfired, but you didn’t.

A chaotic switchboard with tangled wires labeled “MSD,” “IRD,” and “Child Support Pressure.” A disconnected phone sits nearby. One glowing wire labeled “Dignity Held” connects to the phone, symbolizing refusal to comply with institutional pressure.

🏦 Toll Booth (IRD)

$7,000 paid to own your own home—not because of debt, but because IRD refused to honour a private agreement.

They showed up late, demanded a toll, and called it compliance.

A toll booth labeled “IRD” prints a receipt for $7,000. A sign reads “Private Agreement Not Recognized.” A woman walks past on a glowing path, symbolizing backbone and autonomy despite institutional demands.

🧱 Gatekeeper (Bank)

Perfect repayment history. Solo mortgage payments. Still denied a top-up loan.

The bank saw your employment gap, not your asset. It guarded the gate but ignored the ledger.

A locked gate labeled “Bank Policy” blocks access to a glowing house marked “12 Years Paid.” A blindfolded banker holds a clipboard that reads “Employment Gap > Asset,” symbolizing systemic misjudgment.

🧠 Grounding Wire

Through it all—job, children, emotional labor, institutional pressure—no choice but to grounding wire.

Refused to collapse. Rewired the story.

Clarity, backbone, and autonomy aren’t luxuries. They’re the grounding wire.

A glowing orange wire labeled “Backbone” branches into four wires labeled “Job,” “Children,” “Mortgage,” and “Emotional Labor.” Sparks fly from the tangled base, symbolizing resilience and clarity under pressure.

🧵 Final Phrase:

Going through a divorce is an emotional challenge on its own. Doing it while raising two children in a society that routinely demeans single mothers—regardless of circumstance—is a diagnostic test of endurance.

The systems designed to “support” us often do the opposite: they introduce unnecessary complications, financial pressures, and institutional interference that punish nuance and erase dignity.

While some of these mechanisms may work in specific cases, their blanket application is not just misaligned—it’s prohibitive. When they don’t fit, they don’t just fail. They harm.

This story isn’t just mine. It’s a refusal-coded audit of what happens when infrastructure forgets the human cost—and a reminder that clarity, backbone, and autonomy are not optional. They’re essential.

Exposure. The Great unknown.

These are the voyages of Random Circuits, boldly entering the arena of ideas that disrupt, challenge, and transform.

Victory Against the Wall

A glowing silhouette of a woman stands between two children, all three raising their hands in a V-for-victory sign. They face a cracked concrete block wall etched with institutional labels like “IRD,” “MSD,” and “Bank Policy.” A broken block on the ground glows with the word “DIGNITY.” A wire labeled “BACKBONE” runs beneath their feet through the rubble, symbolizing strength and clarity. Warm orange tones contrast with the dark blue and gray background, highlighting resilience against systemic pressure.

Call to action: Share your own refusal-coded stories below.